The Shieldship

How to design video games.

April 23rd, 2009

There are a lot of very bad games that get the greenlight and a huge budget, and they tend to go over about as well as shredded cancer.  This can be the fault of all sorts of folks, but I tend to blame the lead designers.  If you’re a talentless designer and you know it, [...]

Heaven is full of fatties.

April 19th, 2009

I never played D&D, but I just finished Planescape: Torment, and it compelled me to read up on D&D lore (which is probably even nerdier than actually playing D&D).  So it turns out that in D&D, your afterlife depends on how you lived, and even the heavens have the occasional bad guy invasion.  It’s okay, [...]

Grace

April 16th, 2009

I work as a tutor at my old high school.  It’s a good job, even if the hours don’t add up to much, and I don’t feel so dispensable there as I do in most other jobs open to a person of my background.  By “my background,” I mean that I quit college.  I hated [...]

The Empire Strikes Your Face

April 14th, 2009

Daniel Carlson at Pajiba recently wrote a review of The Empire Strikes Back, so I thought it only appropriate that I write a review of Super Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back for the SNES. It’s a game I played as a kid, mostly during my rabid Star Wars fanboy phase, and it’s the only [...]

There’s this band (band?) called “The Mediaeval Baebes” who sing all kinds of fancy European folk music, generally of Medieval origin (here is one of their songs). Back in the Napster days, I happened upon them when looking for a recording of “Gaudete” and became an unofficial fan (you’re not an official fan unless [...]

Impressions

April 10th, 2009

WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT VIDEO GAMES. TAKE APPROPRIATE PRECAUTIONS.
There’s a scene in the most recent episode of Friday Night Lights where Matt’s grandmother has a picture of him from when he was much younger. She uses it to remember him by, rather than using something new, something of who he is [...]

Cave Story: Yeah Buddy.

April 10th, 2009

I like games with robots in them. The first game to totally immerse me was Mega Man X, and since that first day of charging my X-Buster, the robots have had their metal claws in me and I can’t get them out (please God somebody help me please).
Cave Story, or Doukutsu Monogatari, is an [...]

Reviews? Nah.

April 10th, 2009

I’m a critic. Most anything I experience gets picked apart in my mind, followed by my conversation, until there’s nothing left but my faux-objective opinion of whatever the hell it was, I forget.
But criticism has its obstacles. In order to watch a movie, I either have to pirate it, rent it, or see [...]

Oh no.

April 9th, 2009

Introduction.

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